Run with me in my perpetual haste. Wander with me in my desperate search. Meander with me in my whimsical course. Slalom with me in my endless vacillation. Wade with me through my hopeless misery. Sink with me to my senseless abysses. Spin with me in my eddying emotion. Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy. Flow with me in my surging spontaneity. Swim with me in my verbal euphony. Float with me in my phantasmal heaven. Whirl with me in my fragile bubble. Fly with me as I escape reality.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The rain dance

She sat on the terrace looking pensively at the velvet blue night sky. She tried to guess how many stars were there. She yearned for his embrace when the cool night breeze touched her. The sound of music floated by from a music class nearby. She thought about the children who were singing, each one singing louder than the other- their innocent attempts to impress the teacher. Life was as simple as that...

The moon was playing peek-a-boo with the clouds. It showed its face for a brief moment and went into hiding again. Even the moon was cheating her, just like life. The train of thought was threatening to take a sadder, cynical note. To shake it off she began to hum in unison with the children’s voices. A calm came over her. She savored the nostalgic tug at her heart when the breeze, the music and the children’s voices melted together. She longed for happy days again.

She lay down on the floor and stretched slowly, conscious of every small movement she made. She closed her eyes and the shapes started looming in her mind. Everything came rushing back.

They were meeting after a week. She was willing time to move faster. She could not wait to see him. Their previous meeting had ended on a bitter note. They had quarreled again and had not spoken since. Today he had called and in his gruff style said, “Let’s meet, usual time, usual place. Bye.” She felt the familiar flutter again. The anger, the bitterness, the loneliness vanished without a trace.

It was at this moment that she realized that her love ran deep; she could never give him up. Her ego left her and fond memories took its place. A single teardrop escaped her eye and landed on her desk. She saw it glistening in the sunlight. It was full of color. Oh! The magic of this voice.

Finally, after seven hours of hearing the clock tick laboriously, she was at the beach waiting for him. He never kept her waiting, but today she had waited half an hour already. She watched the waves rolling towards her and beckoning to her as they receded. A boat tossed about merrily in the distance, carrying fishermen returning from a long day at sea. She felt like running up to the horizon and touching the sky where it met the sea. She was her usual spirited self again. Life could not be better, Yes! He was back.

She was musing about her childish dreams and laughing to herself when someone touched her from behind. She turned to see his grim face. She was puzzled why she had not known it was him. She always sensed when he was close by and intuitively turned around. Today she had not even recognized his touch. Something was amiss.

She searched his eyes for the hidden love, but in vain. He had never once told her he missed her. Today she just wanted to scream out how much she had missed him, how desperately she had waited for him. But she held back when she saw his cold eyes. She let her eyes do the talking; they asked him what was wrong. He could not meet her eyes. He turned away and they stood facing the sea, the rhythmic lashing of the waves filling the silence between them. Still facing the sea, he spoke, “It’s over, I have to move on.” And he walked away swiftly without turning back. She watched numbly till he disappeared into the twilight, he had disappeared from her life. She stood there that night for she knew not how long.

…the music that had filled her senses a short while ago sounded like screeching. The breeze chilled her till she shivered. A whole year had passed, she had not cried once. Her life had been shattered by his parting sentence. He had moved on. She never wondered why. She just let the pain seep through her and drain her off her energy day after day for a year now.

As she lay there lost in melancholy, a heavy raindrop fell on her forehead; she felt a sharp pain. There was a loud crack of thunder and another raindrop fell and another and another... till she was soaked. Then the tears started gushing from her eyes. She got up and began and a slow dance in the rain. Slowly her steps got more and more springy. She felt alive again. The rain had washed him away. She smiled.

 
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