Run with me in my perpetual haste. Meander with me in my devious course. Wander with me in my desperate search. Slalom with me through my discordant vacillation. Wade with me through my hopeless misery. Sink with me in my unrequited love. Spin with me in my eddying emotion. Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy. Flow with me in my surging spontaneity. Swim with me in my divine euphony. Float with me in my phantasmal heaven. Whirl with me in my fragile bubble. Fly with me as I escape reality

Monday, January 28, 2013

Choices... Paradoxes...

wild fantasy
for suspense is only enticing until wrapped in ribbons

gnawing hunger
for even the most indulgent satiety decays into ennui

reckless insomnia
for what grander theft than stealing from nature itself

eternal, all-consuming fire
for only so long can you fan a gentle diminishing flame

willing inaction
for what higher freedom than righteous self-restraint

relinquishing to the heart
for what greater victory over the ever-imposing mind

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Pattern

The very same words
from a pitiful vocabulary,
shamelessly rearranged
to deceive you
that this time is different.

Masochist

I must be a masochist.

I elicit echoes from unwilling spaces. I vainly search for reflections in mirages. I hopelessly hold on to expired chimeras.

I endure, almost enjoy, the sharp twinges and dull aches of mindless running- all for a fleeting moment of peace. I even pass on sugar for bitter chocolate and for dark coffee that sears the throat, I know not why.

I wait eternally, voluntarily, for a string of soothing words- a quest I could give up far too easily. Remember, there is nothing I hate more than waiting?

I dream never to be real dreams. I often silence my rationality and submit to constant conflict. I invite, savor even, the violent extremes of emotion.

Sanity, I discard... Fear, I disregard... Darkness, I embrace...

I must be a masochist!

Heavy

Can I have them back?

wittiness, even lightness, if you will
smiling without reason
endless hours of focus
my wild wanton impulse
the possibilities I freely embraced
beautiful prose, of words effortlessly strung together
the solitude I once loved

Please come back!


Take them away...

this wistfulness, casting its dark shadow
this smile, reluctant and often disappearing
this obsession, a new one every moment
this weighty studied restraint
this imagination I helplessly shun
these sputtered words, masquerading as verse
this loneliness I so hate

Go away, I plead!

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Again!

Again, I stand at crossroads.

Behind me- cherished moments- some won, most stolen. Oh how they dazzle- those guileless faces, eternally happy! Composure- lost and regained, time and again, slips away yet again. Serendipity- so undeserved yet so relished, insecurely I cling on.

Now- Familiar fears, of impending loss. Dreams and Demons- crisscross, unwelcome. A tempting unknown beckons. Anticipation- lick my lips; Anxiety- bite those lips.

Tomorrow-
Faces, to replace
Rituals, to reconfigure
Affections, to redirect

...the enormity of it bears down on me- at once promising, and threatening, and suffocating. 
Gotta move! Gotta run!

 
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