So what?

Oh yes! I'm quite the cynical cow. This is how I feel most of the time...

Be Mine

Run with me in my perpetual haste
Wander with me in my desperate search 
Meander with me in my whimsical course
Slalom with me in my endless vacillation
Wade with me through my hopeless misery
Sink with me to my senseless abysses
Spin with me in my eddying emotion
Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy
Flow with me in my surging spontaneity
Swim with me in my verbal euphony
Float with me in my phantasmal heaven
Whirl with me in my fragile bubble 
Fly with me as I escape reality

insignificant intimacy, please

saccharine spiels
devised demureness
amorous adoration
casual caresses
exotic erotism
nimble nipping
moaned murmurs
barbaric bacchanalia
flooded fatigue
limpid languor
sated slumber

Let go!

Pilfer my wing
in a moment of inattention,
Hold it tight, stop
my flight, my fervor, my frenzy.

Cocoon us tight
in this ephemeral chimera,
Weave it closed, paint
a moon, the ocean, our reality.

Tragic

I turned back slowly, fearfully, even a little hesitantly...

A chain of seemingly connected, truly disparate realities, fragments strung together by some strange whim of nature. A misplaced fantasy- well, hopelessly!

Ellipsis carefully strewn about to beautifully camouflage the uncannily repetitive omissions, or should I say forgotten procrastinations? Negligence- well, nearly!

Ripples, one after the other, incessantly spreading, arch emotions, flitting romance, illusory love, undying lust. Turbulence- well, always!

Tears, both shed and denied, stifled and blinked away, solitude, self-inflicted heartache. Happiness - well, wistfully!

Phantoms, some even real, of thoughts and words and deeds, some said, some swallowed, some loved, some repented. Spontaneity- well, rued!

I turned away sadly, fearfully, even a little too quickly...

Greedy

Fingertips, a hummed tune, the moment before you sneeze,
a crumpled sheet of scrawled words, chipped coffee mug, a puppy,
whispered love, a secret meeting place, momentary motionless locked gaze.

If you will allow me some more greed...

An embrace, your voice, the moment before you sleep,
manuscripts of love, the sugar in your coffee, allegiance,
an oath, paradise, eternity.

Trivial

I'm an inkblot, scattered by an angry whim of the hand.
I'm a footstep, an insignificant instant in an eternal journey.
I'm a shadow, a dark twin that lurks by day and fades by night.
I'm a torn page, an incomplete story with no beginning or end.
I'm a broken clock, frozen at a forgotten moment of truth.
I'm an ambiguity, maybe, maybe not...

When I'm gone...

Oh cuckoo that wakes him every morn!
Won't you sing a melancholy song,
the day I'm gone?

Oh rainbow outside his window!
Just one more color, won't you show,
the day I'm gone?

Oh fragrant flower in his way!
Your pretty head, won't you sway,
the day I'm gone?

Oh teardrop in his left eye!
A little sooner, won't you dry,
the day I'm gone?

Oh new moon, out of sight!
Won't you be his lover for a night,
the day I'm gone?

Stay awhile, will you?

You are my fleeting fantasy,
Rest awhile before you hurry away-
Just long enough to sing me a song...
Just long enough to write you a verse...

You are my sweet intoxicant,
Hold me awhile in your magical mirth-
Just long enough to profess my love...
Just long enough to lull me to sleep...

You are my unopened gift,
Stay awhile wrapped in ribbons-
Just long enough to stop this flutter...
Just long enough to guess your surprise...

You are my flowing poetry,
Remain awhile as stammered words-
Just long enough to finish this dream...
Just long enough to string you together...

You are my impending doom,
Wait awhile before destroying me-
Just long enough to feel your wrath...
Just long enough to hear my plea...

Soma

Inspirational Art: courtesy Nithya ( A really good amateur artist!)


Crystal goblets, musically clinking
Sparkling stars, softly blurring
Imagined music, gently lilting
Warm intoxication, washing all over.

Blurted words, barely croaking
Leaden head, wildly throbbing
Numbed senses, slowly dying
Brutal intoxication, ravaging all over.

May I not have just a bit of your morn?

May I not perch
on your window sill
and glimpse your creased forehead
and guess your last dream?
I promise, I will fly away into the dawn.

May I not ride
down a gleaming ray
and tickle your eyelids
and kiss you awake?
I promise, I will not stay too long.

May I not slide
into your morning papers
and peek at your face
and follow your gaze?
I promise, I will not leave my far corner.

May I not melt
into your dark coffee
and float up the steam
and whisper you a secret?
I promise, I will not cloud up your eyes.

May I not have just a bit of your morn?

Insomnia

Midnight glory,
Fold around me
your celestial quilt.
Tell me a tale.

Raven Beauty,
Breathe into me
the mysterious dusk.
Sing me to sleep.

His and Hers

An anger gushing with virulence, an anger so physical, it leaps out and grips you as tightly as his clenched fist, a temper so hot, you will wince if you touch that green vein pulsating against the stretched skin of his neck, an anger that hurls every object in sight, an anger caught, mangled and minced between two unsmiling rows of pearly teeth that seem incapable of such wrath, an anger that brings forth a cascade of unimaginable abuse, an anger swelling with spontaneous curses and threats rarely meant, an anger that sparks, blazes and reduces to cold ash- all within a quick throbbing moment, an anger that hurriedly slips through your fingers, an anger that leaves as remnants only repentance, profuse apology and not a trace of malice. Such is his anger- red to behold, searing to touch, loud to hear, fleeting in time, harmless while it is there, guileless once it is gone...

Silent anger that resides in her sharp glare, in her slow forceful walk, in her firmly set jaw, in the thin line of her mouth, a practised anger, its perfection visible in the controlled pace of her movements free of urgency, movements carefully designed to conceal her emotion, an anger that had no ears for pleas or reason, an anger chilled till you shiver in its iciness, an anger that simmers silently long after you think it has passed, an anger that strikes back with hurtful words when you least expect them, an anger that stores every moment away, committing them to memory to serve as fuel for some future wrath, an anger that never forgets, an anger that stays on for you to touch, remember and fear forever, an anger that leaves behind charred bitterness and a promise of return. Such is her anger- eternal embers that glow unnoticed, biding time as it awaits the wind of revenge, a spiteful fire that only her will can quell...

Caught Unawares

Is that all there is to a dream-come-true?

Life spiralled down into normalcy,
As I continue to wait for indulgent mirth.
The glorious moment slunk away silently,
leaving me no chance for leisurely reminiscence.

Is that all there is to a dream-come-true?

We still exchange the same pleasantries-
About the weather, the traffic, the bitter coffee.
Can't you see the bounce in my gait,
the glow on my face?

Is that all there is to a dream-come-true?

A thrill that raced past,
A smattering of disbelief, tears and prayer,
A faint recollection of sweet success,
rapidly replaced by dreams anew?

Silent Flutter

Bright orange streaks ran the width of the sky, rapidly turning pale, as the sun bid its daily farewell. Waves gently lapped up to them, receding with a silky caress. She intently watched her feet and raced to count the bubbles before the wave could sweep them back into the sea. His arms encircled her shoulders lightly, a half embrace that announced easy fondness. A boat merrily bobbed under the command of the high sea, a vanishing image at the line where sky melted into sea. The low hiss of the waves, the gentle rustle of the breeze rose to fill the silence between them. It was not a silence that hung heavily. It was a silence cloaked by their perfectly resonating thoughts, a silence cocooned in content love, a silence engendered by years of understanding.

She traced designs in the sand with her toe, rushing to complete intricate patterns before the sea came to claim them. "Why do you love me?" he asked as casually as he would ask for the time. "It's your handwriting, I've told you before", she laughed, not taking her eyes off her feet. "And why do you love me?" "It's your lisp my dear, as always", he feigned a pronounced lisp as he said it. A tiny spark twinkled in his eyes as he squinted to catch sight of the distant boat. An impish smile crept up the corners of her mouth and she looked away from him. She entwined her fingers into his and tugged his arm tighter around her. They lapsed into silence again and looked up in unison, each searching for the other's star.

"Not a word we utter
But does it stop, the flutter?"

The sanctity of their love rested untarnished in the soft recesses of their silence, in the fleeting thoughts she engraved in the wet sand, in the mesh of their intermingled fingers.

PS: Inspired by fond reminiscences of the sorely missed sea...

Resurgam

Intangible thoughts, flickering images, dreamy fantasies surface and vanish, playing a game of hide and seek in my mind. My pen and paper meet only to render my mind instantly blank. My words, a trickle of incoherent stutters and stammers, die away unexpressed. I build elegant characters and weave elaborate tales. But they refuse to leave the ephemeral abode of my thoughts, they shun my offer of immortality.

Thus we rest in peace-
My langushing mind,
My drying pen

Resurgam

Enduring wait

The weeks trudged along laboriously,
I wistfully counted each tomorrow...

You left me fading manuscripts of love,
Creases softened with time, Ah! the familiar coarseness of your skin.
Fond eyes welled up as I ran them yet again
over your undotted i's, your slanting t's.

You left me a picture tacked to my wall,
A snapshot of long past, frozen in eternity.
I touched your smile, your finger tips,
I blew the fleck off your eye.

You blew me a kiss from the far curb of the road,
A fleeting gesture of parting.
I hid them under my eyelids-
your gentle kiss,the warm moon, the cool night breeze.

Since your return,
The todays pass as I longingly wait...

To run my finger along your face,
To trace the curve of your lip,
To melt in your lowered gaze,
To kiss you in your cherubic sleep.

Will this missing ever cease?

Pensive

Suspended clouds mesh together like pieces of a jigsaw and metamorphose into forgotten faces. Some smile, some are still angry, some show no flicker of recognition. Unfazed, I fly past...

The cacophony of voices in my head break the underwater silence. Lofty ideas, fragmented dreams, childhood memories, ancient mirth, heartrending grief resurface and add to the chaos. I dive deeper to shut out the clamor...

Visitors unsolicited in real life crash into my dreams. They stomp all over the rosy dream and distort it into a cruel nightmare. I simply nuzzle closer and sleep on...

A harsh storm follows the deceptively soft breeze right through my window. My gently meandering life is entangled in the sinews of the raging tornado. I melt into a sheet of rain...

Oh! How I yearn for that floating flight amidst the wispy clouds, that silent plunge into the deep ocean, that tender dream in the night-long cradle, that fluid journey from heaven to earth...

Oh! How I yearn for that simple life...

Can you hear the silence?

She peered deep into his eyes, He quickly averted his gaze
                                           A violent storm brews in the distance
                       Can you hear the Screaming Silence of Anger?


                              She touched his fingertips hesitantly, He squeezed her palm tight
                A cool mountain breeze nudges them closer
                Can you hear the Calm Silence of Trust?


               She ran her toe up his leg slowly, He wet his lips hungrily
                         The wet smell of rain mixes with the pungent smell of sweat
  Can you hear the Moist Silence of Lust?


She laid her head on his shoulder, He kissed her forehead lightly
                  Deafening thunderclaps, a blinding crack of lightening
                         Can you hear the Choking Silence of Grief?


                       A single teardrop escaped her eye, He wrapped her in his embrace
                  The moon glows softly in the clear night sky
        Can you hear the Gentle Silence of Love?

The night whispered

I'm standing on my terrace. The sky is inky blue, there are no stars, there is no moon. Clouds drift towards each other slowly and hesitantly like silent lovers melting into their first kiss. The cool night breeze ruffles my hair, a lump forms in my throat, it's been a long time...

Distant memories sail in and out of my mind, I let them pass.
I don't want to think, I just want the moment to stay.
I close my eyes, I hear faint guitar strums, music straight from the heart, I'm smiling...

Characters from my book enter and leave my mind, I let them go.
I'm living a dream, I don't want to wake up.
I close my eyes, I smell rain, there is a mild drizzle, I'm smiling...

The sea beckons me from far away, I stay still.
The night is whispering a secret, I just want to drink it up.
I close my eyes, the spray is on my face, waves crash around my feet, I'm smiling...

A rainbow drifts in and out of my mind, I let it fade.
I don't want color, I just want the black night to last forever.
I close my eyes, I'm humming, I feel his arms around me, I'm smiling...

I'm standing on my terrace. The kiss is over. The night is suddenly still. I know the secret now. The clouds part to reveal a lone star, he is back! I'm smiling...

PS: The night itself was sheer poetry! And my thoughts were not symmetrical :) The randomness was the poetry!

Living Paradox!

There is a voice screaming in the head - "There are things to do..."
There is an inertia tugging back the mind - Cannot move an inch...

There is the urge to fly - The wings are still in the making...
There is a morbid fear - Searching for a place to hide...

The heart desires to create - The mind refuses to imagine...
The face yearns to smile - The heart remains frozen...

PS:
I've not written in a while, not because I could not squeeze out the time, not because of writer's block, not because I had nothing to say, simply because I didn't feel like it!

Writing is gratifying. Sometimes, "Not writing" is liberating!

Thanks for all the messages during my self imposed sabbatical. I came back to them time and again!

Dumbstruck !

I looked up at you, enraptured by your soaring beauty.
I will stand taller some day…


I stood by you, dwarfed by your majesty.
I will be bigger some day…


I climbed up with you, inspired by your mighty ascent.
I will fly freely some day…


I tip-toed around you, awed by your immaculate symmetry.
I will be perfect some day…

PS: Inspired by a weekend trip to Wayanad, Kerala, India.

Life is circular

Another year gone,
Another year come,
But life has become
so very circular...

Happy New Year!

I'm hiding in your flower

I will hide within the flower
and bring color to your day.

I will hide within the flower
and watch your eyes smile.

I will hide within the flower
and steal your admiring glance.

I will hide within the flower
and feel your soft caress.

I will hide within the flower
so you'll pin me to your heart.

I will hide within the flower
so you'll miss me when I'm gone.

Peeved!

Be beautiful
- enthrall me

Be mysterious
- excite me

Be rewarding
- please me

Be difficult
- motivate me

Be vengeful
- anger me

Be punishing
- humble me

But why be confusing
- and puzzle me
and depress me
and annoy me?


Most of the time I just love life. But there are times like these when I can't hate it more...

PS: I know this is not great poetry, I was not even attempting one. I guess my mood is evident...