Run with me in my perpetual haste. Meander with me in my devious course. Wander with me in my desperate search. Slalom with me through my discordant vacillation. Wade with me through my hopeless misery. Sink with me in my unrequited love. Spin with me in my eddying emotion. Cruise with me through my youthful fantasy. Flow with me in my surging spontaneity. Swim with me in my divine euphony. Float with me in my phantasmal heaven. Whirl with me in my fragile bubble. Fly with me as I escape reality

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Love in absentia

Oftentimes life is like a movie trailer, scenes from the future handpicked and perfectly orchestrated that leave us wanting more. We have in us a certain innocence that makes us want to believe that the promises will be kept. For if we don't, we will be left with pitifully few things worthy of fervent pursuit. Relationships can be tempting trailers followed by hard tests of endurance. At times we learn more about ourselves through relationships than even meticulous introspection.

Sometimes a relationship begs for silence. It ceases to be about sharing the small things that make you smile or about narrating every interesting thought. It takes standing aside and quietly watching life go on without intrusion. It takes waiting and hoping that it will be as fantastic as the trailer promised it will be. This silence would be easy, if only it was not indefinite.

There is a nebulous region in every relationship where it becomes less about getting every little thing you want and more about gratefully accepting the little you receive. Interestingly, this is the region where we grow. We stand deserted by time and energy that once seemed infinite. We recognize new boundaries. We learn how to trivialize ourselves. We learn how to recall the beautiful beginnings and continue to feel fortunate in an altered world.

And when the shiny newness wears away we muster the imagination, sometimes even delusion, to paint a silver lining. We realize that the colorful cocoon we lived in has broken, or maybe was imaginary all along. We give in to reality smiling its dazzling smile and shaking its proud head, saying "I told you so."

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