Betrayed

Photo: courtesy Kripa

The sun split open the sky- blazing fire cocooned in a vast, far reaching darkness. She squinted as she tried to look the sun in its eye. The sun rays felt like hot needles on her face, she wished they would magically turn to needles of rain. She wished the clouds would halt their laborious journey and break open.

She wanted rain, harsh rain that would prick when it struck her. She yearned for ice, hard ice that would sear her skin at the slightest touch. She dreamed of snow, silken flakes of fresh snow melting in her hand.

A cool breeze began to blow. The sun hid between the clouds, the rays tried in vain to force through the thick, smoky clouds. Her eyes lit up. Rain! She wet her lips in anticipation. A drop of sweat trickled from her brow along the side of her face. The clouds rumbled and a streak of lightning lit up a corner of the sky. She could not contain her excitement. It had been so long. A mild dampness crept into the air. With bated breath she waited.

The clouds began to move again. They parted like a curtain gently revealing the sun– brightening swiftly. They dissolved slowly, changing from thick rain clouds to translucent fog to misty puffs of cotton to tiny wisps to smoke. Her heart ached as they disappeared. Passing clouds, yet again…

Those waters...

I saw those waters…
The silver blue sparkle
Awakened a sense
of sheer passion.

I touched those waters…
The flowing velvet
Brought gentle ripples
of forgotten memories

I drank from those waters…
It still lingers-
The sweet taste
of purity.

I listened to those waters…
As the waves rolled and lashed-
The rhythm instilled
a deeper calm.

I swam in those waters…
Every stroke- a tiny step
towards the horizon,
towards my dream.

I drowned in those waters…
From the immense deep
I surfaced anew,
clutching life tighter.


I went on a weekend trip to a place called Honnermadu (Karnataka, India).
The photo is that of a reservoir in Honnermadu and these are all the emotions those waters evoked.

Voices

Don’t cry, you moron. Life is so long, there’s so much time. God please, help me on this. I need a smoke. She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not……Stop, breathe, Listen to the music. Who cares? May be I should take a loan. Yes! I did it. I wish I could die. What about the baby? I want those shoes I saw yesterday. Hey wait for me. Prayer? Luck? Bah! Sigh…How I wish.... I have no time, I’m so tired. Let’s catch a movie. Sleep some more, just five more minutes. But why am I running? I’m broke again. How dare he? Where am I going? I’m lost. He died??? But I have not met him in years, I really meant to soon. Maybe I should switch jobs... Life is beautiful. Shut up,will you? Let me read in peace. Wow great day! Can he really be making so much? I will travel, I will write, I will be rich, I’ll do all these things and more...Someday... I am God. I better clear that exam, sleep, sleep, damn it just go to sleep. Some people have all the luck. But I'm hungry. Chill! Have some fun, Party Time! Money? Who needs it? It’s my life, my space, my wish. This is the last straw, I’m out of here. Determination! Keep that spirit up. What is the hurry? Who do you think you are? This time I will do it. But why not me? Stop dreaming, will you? No this can’t happen, not again , not again, noooooooo. SILENCE.

My papa will come for me...

Maya watched the shaft of light streaming in through the high window, dust busily dancing about. She loved these moments of early morning solitude. She remembered the previous night’s dreams and smiled sadly.

“Maya………” someone screamed from the floor below. Even after eight long years she still could not resign herself to her fate. The thought that kept surfacing in her mind was “My papa will come for me...” There was a sharp rap on the door and before she knew it there was a man with her, yet another faceless customer. The faces had begun fading away long ago.

She went through the motions of sex with no pleasure or pain. She was too tired to even hate them. They were all the same; when they were done they just got up and walked away, full of guilty pleasure. Her mind wandered to her past. She wondered how she got here. She drew a blank every time she tried to recall. The last thing she remembered was anxiously waiting for her father to come back with a gift on the eve of her thirteenth birthday. The next morning she had found herself in this cursed place amidst strange men and women. She lived with just one hope –“My papa will come for me” .

The day trudged along slowly. There was a steady stream of men. In a stupor she dreamed of seas and mountains, friends and freedom, books and movies. Finally she was alone again. But she was too tired to do anything. She was praying there won’t be anyone tonight when the door opened. The man crept up to her in the darkness. What she looked like, fair or dark, old or young or who she was never mattered for this carnal desire. She stayed numb till he finally fell asleep.

She moved to a corner of the bed and plunged into a deep, dreamless slumber. It was dawn. She got up and sat by her window admiring the beautiful morning sky, enjoying the sounds of dawn. The man from the previous night was still asleep. Her gaze fell on his face and she was horrified. Her papa had come back for her.

PS: Kripa, consumerdemon, musafir, sorry to make you read it again.